I'll have to admit that sounds logical

Again, in case there is some lingering doubt among those who don't know my dad -- direct quote. This one was actually said to Snake. I'm pretty sure it was after I was in college and had to do with taking out the garbage or some such petty chore. Perhaps Snake can fill in the details for us.

the proverbial clean slate

Another gem from the peak Port O'Connor days. I don't think this one came from a holiday weekend, but at age nine or so I wasn't always cataloging details correctly. Anyway, again, it's the end of the weekend and my family is left to clean up my grandparents' bay house after all the other families have left. My dad is putting beach shoes and the like in their place on the back porch and notices some kid's underwear on the ground. He picked it up and noticed an unexpected heft. He took a quick glance inside the underoos and confirmed his suspicion. Then, with a look of absolute disbelief, he turned to Ojo and said, "There's shit in there."

I've always thought that was a funny story, but as I got older I found it less amusing. Turns out those underoos belonged to my cousin JT who had some continence issues as a small kid when his parents were getting divorced. Kind of sucks that I wasn't more sensitive to that back then.

I couldn't deny it

More than any other I wish I had been present for this one. Unfortunately the only witness was one of my cousins (can't recall if it was Aterill or Le-ee). Whichever cousin it was was living with my parents while going to VC. Only she and my dad were home one day and my dad was doing some handyman work in the attic. I'm not sure if he was trying to repair some general electrical problem or messing with the air conditioner in some way, but the result was a shock and dimming of the lights followed by my dad silently backing down the attic ladder. He walked wordlessly past my cousin, sitting in fearful silence on the living room couch, to the kitchen telephone. He punched seven digits to ring up KB's dad (the owner of the company that installed the AC) and after a few seconds says, in a perfectly businesslike voice, "James, this is John. Me fucky-uppee." My cousin erupted in laughter. So do I every time I picture this.

more than just the least

Again, I wasn't personally present for this one. My brother Ojo has relayed the story of this quote on his blog, which draws its name from the same conversation as this quote. He mentions it here, but since his accursed blog lacks the basics of a search function and maintains only incomplete archives, you'll have to wait for his comment for the full story.