Monday, December 26, 2011

happy holidays, from Pepper

1. While it definitely sucked to be in this shithole on Christmas without getting to see our families, I have to admit I had a pretty kickass day just hanging with the kids.

2. Trimmed the beard the other day and the counter looked like somebody poured salt and pepper all over it. By the time I get back to Texas I'll be bald and gray. I even saw a gray pube the other day.

3. Totally unrelated to the above, I'm sure, but my dedication to getting in better shape is going strong after a 2-3 week hiatus for a bitching respiratory virus. Fitness goals for the next six months:
- running twice a week with at least one of those being a 10k or better distance
- 20 wide grip pullups (I'm done at 9 currently)
- 100 pushups (I'm at 30 now)

4. I haven't really been running much because of the weather and fear of the right knee pain returning. I have been walking like I'm the Pepper of Ann Arbor. I walk the three miles from the hospital to my apartment pretty regularly. If this fabled winter ever truly picks up I might have to give that up.

5. I sometimes forget that my 3 year old son is not, yet, a Pepper-level urban walker. The other day we walked to the laundromat together. It's a mile and a half. Each way. And it was 34 degrees. Little dude only made me carry him the last half-mile or so. He's a trooper.

6. A trooper who still pisses the bed at night. Come on!

7. My daughter won Christmas from Santa and us, but the boy really got some cool shit from everybody else. My favorite was the stomp-rocket, his was the twin-engine airplane that drops a life raft out of the bomb bay doors. He sleeps with it.

8. I cashed in as well. New Balance Road Minimus 10 shoes, badass graphic novels, The Invention of Hugo Cabret, badass music, and some resistance bands I've already put to use.

9. Because the Minimus shoes are so different from anything I've worn before I'm not sure if they're the right size. Might be a little small. I need to try and hit up a shoe store in town to try on the next size higher just to see. I haven't worn the new shoes outside yet, so I should still be able to return them if need be.

10. Fuck New Year's Eve.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011


1. The only thing receding worse than the Michigan economy is my hairline. Fuck it's going fast.

2. I've recently been playing guitar a lot more. Here are songs I've either learned or re-learned in the last few weeks:
-- Top Gun theme song
-- Tomorrow (from Annie, as played by Rivers Cuomo)
-- opening lick to China Grove
-- opening riff to Wish You Were Here
-- Dueling Banjos
-- Scooby Doo theme song (apparently the Matthew Sweet version?)
-- sort of kind of Someone Like You by Adele (I screw up the picking when it changes from one part to another)

3. That's really it.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Time Flies When Shit Sucks

Long time no post. Let's get to it.

1. Here's a picture of me at work:

2. Here's a movie someone made about me at work:

3. They even made TV show about me.

4. I've probably made my point.

5. Moving on.

6. UT football season went as well as could be expected given the injuries on offense. They beat K-State and Mizzou with healthy RBs and Shipley. Or if they didn't start a QB with Angelman syndrome. Defense was great against bad teams and bad against good teams. They matched up well against an Aggie team that was without two NFL RBs, so that performance looks better than it was. They never really put together a complete game against a decent team.

7. I do think the future is bright, though. If the RBs stay healthy next year, David Ash learns which color his teammates are wearing, and Case McCoy dies in a fire, the offense should get good enough. Think Bama 2009. The defense upgrades through Gideon's graduation and probably gives up 2-3 explosive plays less because of it. If Vaccaro stays the secondary will be as good as any since 2006. Linebackers should suffer little drop-off with Cobbs (better athlete than Acho), Edmond (better MLB than Keenan this year),and Hicks (played dumb this year and needs to get that fixed). D-line replaces Kheeston Randall with a juco who's probably better than he was and rocks out.

8. Seriously, I hate my workplace.

9. Missing Christmas in Texas is going to blow.

10. My boss mentioned that I seemed unhappy lately and wanted to know if there was anything she could do. How about you not fucking LIE about the details of this program? How about you not lure me here with your lies so I traumatize the shit out of my son by taking him away from all the people that love him? How about I not see how sad he is every day and then go to work at a job that is NOTHING like it was promised to be? How about I not be fucking trapped with literally no option for leaving this program early that would allow me to provide for my family? Fucking slag.

Monday, October 31, 2011

i think my daughter might be retarded.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Shit I forgot to post about in the shit I forgot to post about post

1. I fully endorse the following websites:,,

2. My new upstairs neighbors fuck on average 3 times a day. Once at around 10:30, once around 1 a.m., and once around 6 a.m. Like clockwork.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

40 weeks to go

This post could have been titled "Shit I keep forgetting to post about".

1. Some kid in Phenie's class is teaching her about Justin Bieber. I ever meet this kid, he's history.

2. Elliott can cuss. Like a sailor. My bad.

3. There's a girl who is occasionally at my bus stop leaving work in the afternoons who is pretty attractive in that Omelettry waitress kind of way. Too much metal in her face for my tastes, but, you know, attractive. She has a lower back (i.e., just above ass crack) tattoo that says in script font "Built for hours of fucking." You know, classy.

4. I love fall. I always have, even in Texas, but up here it's a legitimate season.

5. I may stab one of the residents in the eye if she keeps paging me every 30 minutes for updates on EEGs on patients who haven't had a seizure in days.

6. Actually, I may stab her anyway.

7. I've started running again. I tried a knee brace for a few days, but still got twinges in the right knee despite not going more than a mile and a half. I did some more investigating and decided that I over-pronate when I run. I decided to try getting some legit running shoes with good support instead of the cheapest shoes I could find, which is my usual m.o. I bought some Mizuno support shoes and they seem to be working. They are noticeably heavier than my cheap Adidas, though. I continued to do some reading and decided I also had knee pain from iliotibial band syndrome. So I started doing some specific stretches and exercises. I'm also taking this running program much more slowly than my last venture. I'm doing a slow pace, 30-minute run twice a week. I've been hitting 2.5 to 2.8 miles each time. I'm also jumping rope twice a week for 20 minutes. I've read this can strengthen the arches of my feet which might help with the knee pain as well. It also lets me do some cardio with less range of motion at the knee, thus less risk of aggravating the ITBS. So far so good. Every once in a while I still feel a little burn in the knee, but nothing like it was.

8. Aggies fell apart against Okie State. LOL. Why they didn't come out in the second half and simply run Gray and Michael to victory, I'll never know. They've got two all-conference backs and a very solid OL. They also have a relatively weak and slow secondary (especially with their best DB not playing due to injury). The strategy has got to be "grind clock and avoid turnovers."

9. Texas looked great against UCLA, but I hesitate to get too excited about the season yet. OU, Okie State, and the Ags are all still likely to kill the Horns. Baylor's offense is looking very tough, though I think they're win over TCU is fool's gold since TCU has their worst team of the last 5 years. Still, it's good for Texas that they play Baylor at the end of the season when their comfort with the new offense and defense should be at it's highest.

10. RG3 for Heisman, btw.
Passing Yards PCT YPA Long TD INT Sacks Rating
70/82 962 85.4 11.73 66 13 0 2 236.2
18/116 6.4 35 0

Sunday, September 11, 2011

I choose YOU!

Sunday, September 4, 2011

43 weeks to go (or thereabouts)

So I failed to get my college football post done in time to really embarrass myself, but I'll go ahead with it now anyway.
1. Prior to the Rice game I would have predicted Texas to go 8-4 this season. After the Rice game I predict 7-5 at best and 6-6 a real possibility.
2. The defense was worrisome, especially the linebacker play and the secondary support against the run. Keenan Robinson in particular looked out of place on several plays that cost them 4-5 yards a pop.
3. Whenever I watch Fozzy play I always feel like he did pretty good, but when I look at the stats he's always averaging like 3 yards a carry. Yes, Malcolm, it's your turn now. I would keep Fozzy in that wildcat role though. That looked promising as hell.
4. Gilbert sucks less than last year but he will cost them any chance to win a game they shouldn't against OU, Okie State, or the Aggies. Late and low on intermediate routes, high heat on short routes, and flat and long on deep routes. Bone head behind the head toss to Fozzy in middle of an avoidable sack. He did complete a two nice deep balls (two of five) and had a nice off schedule run for 20+, but that's not going to be there against stiffer competition.
5. Malcolm Brown is a stud. At least as good as Benson as a freshman.
6. Tucker is a choad.
7. Gideon needs to be replaced. Start Phillips at safety and have him roll to nickelback when Gideon or Brewster comes in for the nickel package. Alternatively bring in a guy like AJ White and have Diggs roll to Nickel.
8. Kick coverage was awful.
9. Kick return was marginally better than kick coverage.
10. Punt return may have been worse than kick coverage but was light years better than last year.

I also caught the second half of the BYU game.
1. They are weak against power running plays and their offense was very inconsistent.
2. Like Rice they have some bigger receivers who could spell trouble for the Texas midgets.
3. Texas will have to do a better job of getting to the QB next week because when he has time Heaps can kill you.

Went to the Michigan game on some free tickets.
1. If I were racist this is the joke I would make: The Big House was designed by Mexicans -- 80,000 seats for 100,000 people.
2. Since I'm not, this is the joke I'll make: The Big House must have been designed by the guy who makes clown cars, because they stuff 100,000 fatasses into seating for 80,000 small children.
3. Michigan is in for a long year on defense.
4. Denard Robinson is fast. Real fast. Too bad he's one of like 3 legit players on that team.
5. Loitering seems to be a big part of the Michigan gameday experience. I mean, during the game there were thousands of people just milling about in the concourse and by the gates. It really seemed like they didn't care there was a game going on. Not what I expected at all.
6. At the Texas-OU game the number of hot chicks belies description. At the University of Michigan vs Western Michigan University the paucity of hot chicks does the same. I saw one attractive girl in the whole place.
7. I took Phenie with me. She almost passed out from the heat. Yeah, good call Dr. Dad.

Saw the first half of the Baylor game.
1. RG3 and Kendall Wright would start for almost any program in the country and will both be in the NFL.
2. Kendall Wright is an annoying shithead that I would rather not see playing for Baylor.
3. That thick senior RB was impressive as hell.
4. Why didn't Mack Brown try to poach Baylor's OL coach for some Texas recruiting consistency? I'm happy, so far, with Searels, but this seems like a pretty simple equation.
5. TCU is fucked. Disregarding the downgrades they took on the offensive side of the ball, their defense sucked.
6. Baylor's defense wasn't doing a hell of a lot either.
7. Baylor will beat Texas unless the Longhorns offense can keep the ball out of the hands of Griffin, Wright, and company.

Still waiting on that TAMU-SMU game. SMU might surprise with their offense this year and the Aggies always seem over-rated to start the year.

Big12 Champ: OU (sucks)
National Champ: Bama over Stanford 48-13
Boise state goes undefeated and wins the Rose Bowl over Wisconsin
USC has a losing record.
ND does after losing their bowl game to go 6-7.
Texas goes 7-5 and wins the Holiday Bowl against Oregon.
Gilbert starts the whole season but Ash gets 15 snaps a game from OU onward.

That Aggie vs SMU game would have been interesting if Padron hadn't dug that early hole with Gilbertesque INTs. Both were simply terrible throws and the second could have been a big gain if it had been an accurate ball. Aggies look legit on offense but their secondary lacks speed and their LBs looked weak. They should still finish second in the Big12 and beat Texas this year. It will be sweet watching them in a rebuilding year their first year in the SEC -- new QB, lose best WR, best RB, and six starters on D.

Monday, August 15, 2011

46 weeks to go

1. Took the kids to Chicago over the weekend. They were total brats the whole time and I was pretty embarassed by their behavior. Also, couldn't sleep.

2. Work is pretty boring right now. I'm actually looking forward to doing something a little more hard core in a couple weeks.

3. Two job interviews later this week. One in Fort Worth that I don't think is a winner and one in Rockwall that I think might be.

4. The Aggies trying to ruin college football. Assholes.

5. Next week will by my annual "moron's view of the Texas Longhorns" post.

6. It's so easy to eat shitty food when you don't impose categorical constraints.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

47 Weeks to Go

1. Life is much better when I'm not on call every other day. That shit was brutal. I do it again in 3 weeks. Damn.

2. Took the kids paddle boating around the Huron River. The little cove where the dock is is completely grown in with weeds so paddling was brutal. The weeds kept getting wrapped around the tiller, too, so we couldn't steer. It was fun though, once we got out into the more open river water.

3. I have 3 interviews lined up -- Rockwall, Fort Worth, and Corpus. I'm waiting to hear back from the biggest group in Dallas. They have a nice hospitalist spot that I think would be perfect.

4. Trying to come up with a realistic salary expectation is difficult because there is so much disinformation around the intergoogles.

5. I'm trying to run Spotify through Wine on my linux system. There's a certain level of incompatibility there that makes Spotify just stop randomly. Very annoying.

6. Spotify on Windows is the shit, however. Any song ever recorded on demand at any time. It's beautiful. Rdio is just as good but lacks a free, ad-supported option. I can't comment on the two with regard to mobile use, but most people claim that is where spotify really shines.

7. Ten years was enough. I'm rejoining the carnivore clan. I'm skinny as hell and don't want to be one of these complete and total feebs when I'm old. I have trouble getting enough protein to gain muscle mass without eating a lot of expensive supplement bars and shakes. It feels wrong to eat this far more heavily processed crap just to avoid eating meat. There are still lots of reasons to be vegetarian, but for now pass the A1.

8. Elliott keeps saying we live in "Mexican." This is fine except when he gets mad at me and says "I hate Mexican" in a crowded public area.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

48 weeks to go

1. Entering four weeks without call. Thank fucking Jeebus.

2. My son has an imaginary friend named Bally. (Bahli? Who the hell knows.) It's a girl with "eyes the same as mine". She is older than him. When he was telling me about her he stood back to back with her so I could see she was taller than him. That was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Unless he sees dead people, then it's not funny at all.

3. Weather continues to kick ass. There is rain up here. Life-sustaining rain at least every other day. Meanwhile Texas is so drought-ridden even tropical storms dry up before landfall, apparently.

4. Interview in Fort Worth scheduled. Working on interview for Corpus Christi. The Corpus job actually seems like a slightly better gig overall, except my wife doesn't really want to live in Corpus.

5. Mom's surgery went fine, but the recovery was constipated complicated. She's better now.

6. Don't really have anything else to add. Sorry for the weaksauce post.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

50 weeks to go

1. Job is way busier than advertised. Average call as an intern was easier than this shit. Only difference is during internship I wasn't at home to wake up my wife with every page.

2. Had I known I would be working in house 7 to 7 instead of the promised 8 to 4:30* then I would not have chosen to live this far from the hospital and rely on public transportation.

3. One in five people up here qualify as miserable human beings. I mean that as an objective assessment of their value as human beings, not a commentary on their subjective emotional state.

4. Two in five people up here qualify as genuine, nice individuals. Nobody's dropping egg in your beer or anything, but they might lend you a bottle opener if they see you with a couple longnecks.

5. The summer climate here is incredible. I'm sure the pain of winter more than counterbalances it, but I could spend every July for the rest of my life in small town Michigan.

6. Did a quick phone interview for a job in Fort Worth and am scheduling an in-person soon.

7. Mom having surgery in a couple days. Fuck me being 1000 miles away.

* I.e., if these devious fucks hadn't lied to me during the interview process.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

51 weeks to go

Here are few random thoughts as the first legit week in Ann Arbor winds down.

1. The people up here are thick. Probably fewer morbidly obese folks than the Metroplex, but there are no skinny people. Except the Asians.

2. I'm developing an awe of poor people. Just trying to live for a week without a car is very difficult, and it's probably easier in Ann Arbor than most places. It took me 90 minutes to buy $20 worth of groceries today. 30 minutes to walk to the store, 20 minutes to shop, and 40 minutes to carry all that shit back.* This weekend I had to pay $3.50 per load to do a single load of laundry at a time in the basement of my apartment because I didn't want to spend 40 minutes on a bus carrying my dirty laundry around. Basically being poor means you have to actually pay MORE to do a lot of things. Totally fucked.

3. My coworkers are total caricatures.
-- Super hard core gunner Asian chic
-- Indian guy who came to America and tasted alcohol for the first time and has never looked back
-- former Mormon who broke from the church and now drinks liquor and caffeine in the morning just to spite them
-- Arabic guy who spends all day trying to cut deals on the phone (while I take care of shit we are actually supposed to be doing) and makes at least 3 suggestions per day regarding things the department should pay for (like home internet bill, new laptop, mobile 3G hotspot device, etc)**

4. Ann Arbor never got the memo that rollerblading is douchey. On the flip side the bus drivers all wave make conversation with you.

5. Mother-in-law will be staying with us a few days after helping the wife and kids drive up. If she sleeps in our bed I don't know how her daughter's going to explain the carpet burns with a straight face.

* Bagger put my bananas in the same bag as the milk. By the time I got home I had banana mush and a slimy milk jug. Pissed.

** Not really a caricature so much as just annoying.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

llogg vs low-flow toilet

no contest.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Curse my winning personality

Hi, Llogg

I understand from Dr. Maine McMaineypants that you had a conversation with both he and one of his partners. They like you very much and are wondering if you and your family might like to come for an interview.

Let me know your thoughts.

Kind Regards,

Recruiter Chic

Shit just got real, yo.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

random thoughts from my first few days in Michigan

1. "Yes, I dented the rain gutter with this big ass truck. You don't exercise or eat enough vegetables. So, we've both made mistakes, but mine won't lead to early stroke and heart attack. You. Fat. Fucking. Cow."

2. "Sure, Father-in-law, it sounds like a great idea to take you sight-seeing in downtown Ann Arbor in a giant fucking truck. I'm sure nothing bad will happen, like running into a rain gutter because you said I was clear while backing up."

3. The only nice people I've encountered in Ann Arbor have been my apartment manager and a waitress.

4. I shouldn't have come. I'm endangering the mission. If the mission is being able to sleep and be happy, I mean.

5. First shit I took in new apartment was too much for the toilet to handle. I guess everything really is bigger in Texa(n)s.

6. Aside from the people, Ann Arbor is awesome. Lush green everywhere, highs in the 80s, hundreds of fireflies at night.

P.S. Changed sidebar video.

Sunday, June 5, 2011


Saturday, May 14, 2011

VA hiring flowchart

Presented without comment.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Things I can't say on Facebook: 6

My sister-in-law's two roommates are a lesbian and a prostitute. Seriously, WTF? The lesbian thing is no big deal, although she's an "arty" lesbian not a butch one and I suspect in two years it will all be a phase she was going through. The prostitute is the shocker. Apparently she gets $500 per date as an escort and always has sex with the guy. Does she not know about stripping? Although, she would probably not be that successful as a stripper because she is simply not that attractive. Which raises the question as to who the fuck is paying $500 to bang an unattractive chic? I mean, is that really the going rate for mediocre whores? Anyway, I've already started drafting my "It Is Not Okay To Associate With Prostitutes" speech for Phenie.