Wednesday, January 28, 2009

and how do i cure...

This is one of the all time greatest stand-alone quotes in dad's canon. I could hide behind that fact, but the truth is, the awesomeness of this quote has whitewashed the surrounding story from my mind. Ojo or Snake will have to fill us in.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

nobody laughs

No real story for this one either. Just a favorite expression. I've never really understood what it meant. I could imagine it meaning something along the lines of "don't bother with the hypothetical." Sort of like "If a frog had a glass ass it wouldn't jump so high." Just even more vulgar: "If I could shit fire I wouldn't have to buy matches, but I can't shit fire so why think about it? Just go buy matches. Take it in the ass and move on down the road."

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

They don't say much

Another one without a single story that stands out to me. I like this quote, however, because it exemplifies how dad expressed his affection for his kids. Now that I have kids I realize that dad must have been overwhelmed with pride and love for us. But this is the most he could say out loud.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Afraidtofail's call for submissions

I'm getting down to some of the quotes I've been avoiding writing about because I either never knew or can't remember the genesis. So I'm wondering if the readership would like to do some audience participation. (Especially since, contrary to my original concept of the absurd humor of pairinc Charles Schultz and Dad, people seem to mostly enjoy the back-stories.)
I've got quotes lined up for the next four posts but two of them are generic phrases Dad tosses about all the time and two I can't think of how they came up. Let me know in the comments or by email if you want to take a crack at this.
Payment is thirty-two rimjobs a word.

Incidentally, I just counted and we've had 36 posts with quotes from dad so far. There are only 16 left to get to my goal of one-per-week for a year. I've only missed two weeks so far, which far exceeds my expectations, honestly. I just looked through the list and I've got plenty of quotes written down, but only about 13 or 14 really good ones. If you've got any quotes that haven't been featured yet you could also email me or put them in the comments.
No payment for quote suggestions. Okay okay. One rimjob per quote, but that's it.

There's something symbolic

Another one that only Snake had the honor of witnessing. I think I was a freshman at Baylor when this one happened. Snake was outside playing basketball and my dad was in the garage working on something. I'm not sure what he was doing but I know it involved a hammer because Snake saw him hit his thumb and jerk it up, squeezing it with his other hand like a cartoon character. The only thing missing was the giant, red, pulsating thumb. It sounds like it looked pretty funny. Snake thought so, too, and laughed.
Dad did not appreciate the humor of the situation. His response to Snake was the scowling, "You think that's funny? Why don't you come over here and let me hit you with a hammer. See how you like it."