Sunday, June 5, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Things I can't say on Facebook: 6
My sister-in-law's two roommates are a lesbian and a prostitute. Seriously, WTF? The lesbian thing is no big deal, although she's an "arty" lesbian not a butch one and I suspect in two years it will all be a phase she was going through. The prostitute is the shocker. Apparently she gets $500 per date as an escort and always has sex with the guy. Does she not know about stripping? Although, she would probably not be that successful as a stripper because she is simply not that attractive. Which raises the question as to who the fuck is paying $500 to bang an unattractive chic? I mean, is that really the going rate for mediocre whores? Anyway, I've already started drafting my "It Is Not Okay To Associate With Prostitutes" speech for Phenie.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
hodge podge
1. Not much to report on the training front. Due to a combination of time constraints, knee pain, and sloth I have really fallen off on the running. Last run was 5.5 miler at home over Thanksgiving. Planning to get things restarted this week though.
2. I went to the dermatologist Friday about this spot on my left cheek that's been growing for the past couple years. Given my history of an epic sunburn from a Matagorda Island trip without sunscreen, I was worried about it. Here's how the visit went down:
Doc: Hmm, let me take a look at that.
Me: I'm kind of worried because of this terrible sunburn I had.
Doc: Looks like actinic keratosis. I'll just freeze it off. Okay?
Me: Okay.
Doc: [casually grabs innocuous blue can] This is 200 below zero so it might pinch a little.
Me: [wince as he aims at my face, very near my eye]
Doc: I'll put my hand here to shield your eye. [pulls trigger] It might be pink for a few days. [still spraying]
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: Oh sweet merciful Tebow! What the hell is wrong with you? My face is on fucking fire! What have I done? What have I done? God almighty what the hell have I done?
It stopped burning about 30 minutes later, rougly 10 minutes before I would have driven into oncoming traffic to end the pain.
3. UT football is in complete disarray right now. Muschamp wanted Mack to retire, which he would have if not for the injury to Colt in the NCG last year and the shit-tastic season this year. Mack refused. Muschamp got an offer he couldn't refuse. All that remains to be seen is if he will take the rest of the staff with him. I've read reports that he wants Akina, Giles, and Applewhite. That would leave Mack with only Kennedy and Chambers, and Kennedy has been widely rumored to be on the way out. Muschamp and Applewhite were the two best recruiters on the staff the last two years. Akina is a very solid recruiter. If Akina and Major leave Texas is quadrafucked. They can replace Muschamp with a big name and keep things rolling, but in order for this year's recruiting class to not fall apart Major and Akina must stick around.
Mack and DeLoss, if you're reading, here is my proposal for what the staff should look like next year:
DC/LB: Randy Shannon -- excellent DC, excellent recruiter, black
DT/ST: Dick Tomey -- short timer with enough fire left, an old friend for Mack to lean on
DB/Assistant HC: Duane Akina (you have to essentially re-recruit and hire him at this point) -- holds recruiting class together, continues the good kind of consistency
DE: Oscar Giles -- successful, bleeds orange, continuity, black
co-OC/QB: Major Applewhite -- holds recruiting class together, excellent recruiter, fire and energy and intelligence that has been sorely lacking
co-OC/OL: Bob Bostad -- Wisconsin has a great OL every damn year, input on the run game would be fabulous
RB: Bruce Chambers -- helps hold recruiting class together (not as critical as Major/Akina though), moves back to a position he's coached before
WR: hell if I know, Kennedy could stay to keep continuity in a time of change, but honestly he's done a terrible job with guys like Kirkendoll, Mal, and Chiles
TE: Joe Rudolph -- Wisconsin has tight ends that are a positive in the running game and passing game every year, and they do it with a bunch of slow Midwest honkies (i.e., Greg Smith would have been made into a productive player under this guy), also reported to be an excellent recruiter and evaluator
TE (alternate): Tim Brewster -- recruited Vincent Paul Young what the fuck else is there to say, the guy should be made head coach in waiting for that shit
Recruiting Coordinator: Chambers can continue in that capacity unless Brewster is brought back
Strength and Conditioning: whoever Todd Wright recommends
I hope Mack reconceptualizes his staff organization. He has five areas that need excellent leadership: offense, defense, special teams, strength/conditioning, and recruiting (NOT listed in order of importance). Most staffs seem to place a premium on OC and DC and the rest get short-changed. Bullshit. Pay each of these five coordinators in the 500k range and demand excellence from all of them. Position coaches should be in the 150k range with bonuses for recruiting successes and NFL draftees.
That's what I think.
4. Sidebar updated.
2. I went to the dermatologist Friday about this spot on my left cheek that's been growing for the past couple years. Given my history of an epic sunburn from a Matagorda Island trip without sunscreen, I was worried about it. Here's how the visit went down:
Doc: Hmm, let me take a look at that.
Me: I'm kind of worried because of this terrible sunburn I had.
Doc: Looks like actinic keratosis. I'll just freeze it off. Okay?
Me: Okay.
Doc: [casually grabs innocuous blue can] This is 200 below zero so it might pinch a little.
Me: [wince as he aims at my face, very near my eye]
Doc: I'll put my hand here to shield your eye. [pulls trigger] It might be pink for a few days. [still spraying]
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: Oh sweet merciful Tebow! What the hell is wrong with you? My face is on fucking fire! What have I done? What have I done? God almighty what the hell have I done?
It stopped burning about 30 minutes later, rougly 10 minutes before I would have driven into oncoming traffic to end the pain.
3. UT football is in complete disarray right now. Muschamp wanted Mack to retire, which he would have if not for the injury to Colt in the NCG last year and the shit-tastic season this year. Mack refused. Muschamp got an offer he couldn't refuse. All that remains to be seen is if he will take the rest of the staff with him. I've read reports that he wants Akina, Giles, and Applewhite. That would leave Mack with only Kennedy and Chambers, and Kennedy has been widely rumored to be on the way out. Muschamp and Applewhite were the two best recruiters on the staff the last two years. Akina is a very solid recruiter. If Akina and Major leave Texas is quadrafucked. They can replace Muschamp with a big name and keep things rolling, but in order for this year's recruiting class to not fall apart Major and Akina must stick around.
Mack and DeLoss, if you're reading, here is my proposal for what the staff should look like next year:
DC/LB: Randy Shannon -- excellent DC, excellent recruiter, black
DT/ST: Dick Tomey -- short timer with enough fire left, an old friend for Mack to lean on
DB/Assistant HC: Duane Akina (you have to essentially re-recruit and hire him at this point) -- holds recruiting class together, continues the good kind of consistency
DE: Oscar Giles -- successful, bleeds orange, continuity, black
co-OC/QB: Major Applewhite -- holds recruiting class together, excellent recruiter, fire and energy and intelligence that has been sorely lacking
co-OC/OL: Bob Bostad -- Wisconsin has a great OL every damn year, input on the run game would be fabulous
RB: Bruce Chambers -- helps hold recruiting class together (not as critical as Major/Akina though), moves back to a position he's coached before
WR: hell if I know, Kennedy could stay to keep continuity in a time of change, but honestly he's done a terrible job with guys like Kirkendoll, Mal, and Chiles
TE: Joe Rudolph -- Wisconsin has tight ends that are a positive in the running game and passing game every year, and they do it with a bunch of slow Midwest honkies (i.e., Greg Smith would have been made into a productive player under this guy), also reported to be an excellent recruiter and evaluator
TE (alternate): Tim Brewster -- recruited Vincent Paul Young what the fuck else is there to say, the guy should be made head coach in waiting for that shit
Recruiting Coordinator: Chambers can continue in that capacity unless Brewster is brought back
Strength and Conditioning: whoever Todd Wright recommends
I hope Mack reconceptualizes his staff organization. He has five areas that need excellent leadership: offense, defense, special teams, strength/conditioning, and recruiting (NOT listed in order of importance). Most staffs seem to place a premium on OC and DC and the rest get short-changed. Bullshit. Pay each of these five coordinators in the 500k range and demand excellence from all of them. Position coaches should be in the 150k range with bonuses for recruiting successes and NFL draftees.
That's what I think.
4. Sidebar updated.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Things I Can't Say on Facebook: 5
Dude, you grew up in Houston. It's time to adopt Western hygiene practices. You smell like curried asshole and I can't stand to be in the same room with you. I can't imagine your patients think too highly of the experience either. I mean, damn.
week 9
The schedule this month just has not been kind to my training schedule. I did 6 miles today in 49:10. A little slow because I spent most of the first mile dicking around with the crappy ear buds on my mp3 player. It would have been even worse except the last 1/4 mile I passed a kid on his bike, which he didn't like so he started pedaling like crazy and passed me. I ain't no bitch for some punk ass kid on a bike, so I went full on sprint and caught him after about 70 yards. I tried to keep it up but I petered out with about 50 yards to go and stumbled across the 6 mile mark.
Ahead of that kid.
Ahead of that kid.
Monday, November 8, 2010
week 8
Not much to report. I only got the long run in again. I couldn't get the stopwatch app on my mp3 player to work so I don't have the exact time, but I did 6 miles in less than 48 minutes. I'm pretty much right on pace and should be able to shave a little more time off in the next few weeks. If my right knee lets me. It will put up with me for about 4.5 to 5 miles, then I can put up with it for about a half mile, and the last half mile is just grinding my teeth and dreaming of ice packs. Kind of sucks, honestly.
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