Too good for just the sidebar

And another

Ask not for whom the bell tolls | June 18th, 2005 …it tolls for me.

ALTERNATIVELY

But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? Tis the USMLE and I am fucked. Wish me luck.

This post exemplifies something that I find funny that a lot of people don't get. Absurd juxtaposition is comedic to me. Shakespeare and "I'm fucked" in consecutive sentences? Comedic gold, baby.

More Greatest (ahem) Hits

Stop the inanity! | May 25th, 2005

A bacteria grown on blood agar can be described as alpha, beta, or gamma hemolytic. Alpha hemolysis denotes that the organism performs an incomplete lysis and is inferred from the green pigment surrounding the bacterial colonies. Beta hemolytic organisms perform complete hemolysis and have a clear halo around colonies. So let’s recap, we’ve got incomplete and complete hemolysis. What other type of hemolysis could there be that necessitates a gamma designation? Extra complete — for the microbe that gives 110%?
No, gamma hemolysis refers to the absence of lysis. WTF? That is not gamma hemolysis. It is simply NO hemolysis. These organisms are not hemolytic. I’ve come up with a few examples that show what life might be like if the microbiologists who thought up gamma hemolysis were in charge.

• As he’s writing the ticket, you can explain to the police officer that you were a little confused about what to do at a gamma go sign.
• Congratulations to hundreds of thousands of Americans who are no longer unemployed. They all have new gamma jobs!
• I’m sorry, Mrs. Smith. We did all we could to save him, but Mr. Smith is now gamma alive.
• Our president isn’t dumb. He’s simply gamma smart.
• I am so incredibly gamma prepared to be a parent. I’ll probably gamma win father of the year.
• Actually, the microbiologists tell me W really is dumb. Okay, but his ideals and policies are gamma representative of the citizenry.

I don't think this is funny any more, but I remember thinking it was hilarious when I wrote it.

Greatest Hits 2005-2012

I'm going to start a series of posts highlighting the posts on my various blogs throughout the years that still make me laugh. My wife thinks I'm an incredible narcissist because I go back and read things I wrote. I don't think that's true. I think I'm go back and read things I wrote because I'm an incredible narcissist. Also, that intro will not be in Llogg's Greatest Blogging Hits vol. 2.

04/13/2005

Medical Vocab Lesson #2 w/bonus lame pun!

Psoriasiform (sorry-ass-a-form) adj: resembling psoriasis; regular acanthosis, parakeratosis and absence of the granular cell layer; slang: resembling something sorry-ass

Used in a sentence: One could characterize both the rash on my genitalia and my performance on the last exam as psoriasiform.

To my wife: Just kidding about the rash.

----------

04/22/2005

Unless she exPUNges me Excyst - v. intransitive, to emerge from a cyst, as protozoal sporozoites emerge from cysts to become trophozoites

If I were an infectious human parasite with a tropism for cardiac muscle I might say to my wife, "I only excyst in your heart," after she had contracted me by the fecal-oral route.

---------

Hah! I kill me. That was a classic "groaner" for those not well-versed in the comedic arts. I know. THESE are the hits? They'll get better. Probably.

I'd forgotten about this feature so prepare to be punished by my musical tastes

I sing this song to my little girl every morning, well, the chorus at least.


But I'm thinking of starting to do the Ray Charles version.

#coolstorybro

FMMFFUL

1. I am dumb.  I predicated the biggest financial decisions of my life on the promises of others.  Dumb.