No real story for this one either. Just a favorite expression. I've never really understood what it meant. I could imagine it meaning something along the lines of "don't bother with the hypothetical." Sort of like "If a frog had a glass ass it wouldn't jump so high." Just even more vulgar: "If I could shit fire I wouldn't have to buy matches, but I can't shit fire so why think about it? Just go buy matches. Take it in the ass and move on down the road."
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Growing up, I always lumped this one in with sayings like "Shay-ta", "Fudge", and the like; terms that are cover-ups for a real curseword. Like, sayign "and save the matches" afterward voids the "shit". Maybe it was just Dad's tone, or maybe I was just wrong, that was what I always thought the point of that saying was.
I've never really understood this one either. For me, it was some sort of statement on efficiency. Like, matches cost money, so, because of this surprising event that has made me shit fire (figuratively) I can now forgo the purchase or usage of matches.
I think Snake's probably the closest to being right about the way dad used this phrase, but it still doesn't explain what it was supposed to mean.
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